Compassion

I'm not perfect. Far from.

My religion isn't the most well accepted religion. In fact, once it was restored to the earth for the last time it has been persecuted, abused, and ridiculed. I personally have never been ridiculed because of my belief. Or rather, knowledge. But I know that people have these days. In the early days we (as a people) were physically abused and persecuted. I have sometimes wondered how I would react to that kind of inhumane abuse because of what I believed or rather, knew. I still don't know to this day how I would react, because overall, that doesn't happen these days as it did back then.

No, my church is being ridiculed in a totally different way these days. Insult after insult goes on. Moral standards are being questioned and twisted in a way that represents us as a church that we are practicing things that are just morally wrong. The family is one of the things that we hold most dear. That is being down-sided. Everything about my religion is being twisted one way or another or presented to the world as something that is just overall... wrong.

I was thinking about all this last night and wondered what kind of persecution was worse. Obviously I know seeing as this is what is happening now. People may leave my church and blab (to their own damnation) about sacred things or present us in an immoral light. This isn't new. This has been happening since Nephi's time, and it always caused a war.

I'm not saying that a war is inevitable, but I personally believe that "turning the other cheek" is something that is most important in this day and age of moral persecution. Getting all riled up and offended is what they want. They want us to behave in a way that will prove that they were right and that we are a savage or immoral or whatever else kind of people.

We teach compassion and to live as Christ lived. What better example of turning the other cheek than Him? Everyday of His life he has done that.

Shouldn't we?

Thoughts on headaches

Ok ok, I know I have already written three posts today, but I thought I'd share these before I lost them to my pregnant forgetful mind.

This morning I woke up with a splitting headache. I do have pills for headaches such as these, but I don't like to take pills while on an empty stomach so I stayed in bed wishing for sleep until it was time to eat. I don't think I got any.

When I have a headache (as I'm sure this is true for most people) I am really REALLY grouchy. My patience is shot with the pain throbbing in my head. I usually take it for granted and don't try to change anything. This morning was no different. Then I thought... I really should try to be more patient even if I have a headache. I started to wonder if anyone is like that.

Wait... Christ I'm sure was like that. He was patient with everyone and in every situation. Did He have headaches? I'm positive about it. He was a human to and had all the aches and pains that we deal with. I think we as a people only ever think about all the big pains of the world that He had to deal with. Abuse, laughter in his face, spitting, betrayals from trusted ones. But then again, I tend to be able to not complain as much with the bigger things. I have a harder time not complaining when my back aches. Or if I have a headache. Or if my feet hurt. All those little aches and pains that we all have.

Makes you think doesn't it?

I figured it out!

This pregnancy has been very different than the other two I have had. I'm beginning to think it is because all three of them have been approximately 18 months apart each. I first thought sure it was because this one was a girl, but we all know how wrong that guess was.

One major difference is my fainting feelings. I'm not sure exactly how to say what they are. But they are pretty regular. Even very daily. Almost at the same time every day I feel faint, and need to lay down so I don't faint. I never knew why so I didn't know how to fix it except what my doctor told me. To sit, or even better, lay down. So that is what I did. Almost exactly at the same time everyday around nine or nine thirty in the morning I had to lay down for an hour or longer to wait it out. My heart starts pounding either too fast or too hard, I feel light headed and over all... just not with it.

Other fainting feelings were more obvious as to why they were happening. Like on the bus. The buses are SO FREAKING HOT!!!!! So I would feel faint. Usually it was ok if I was sitting down, and I always avoided getting on a bus that was too full where I would have to stand. I would just wait in the cold for the next one. Besides. It wasn't as cold to me as to others because of my internal heater (which is also a major change from my other two pregnancies seeing as I never noticed a huge change of my temperature before...).

Sometimes the bus driver would try to convince me that I could fit. I didn't feel like explaining to him that if I came on I would most likely faint and figured he didn't want to deal with that, so I just smiled and said I'd wait. Besides, I don't ever remember feeling particularly cold this winter. Just a nice comfortable temperature or too hot.

In any case, those fainting feelings were much easier to pin down as to why I was having them, but the daily ritual of having to lay down at the same time every day was kind of annoying and I had no idea how to prevent it or make it go away besides having the TV on for Bug and laying down until it went away.

I figured it out!!! It is actually the same thing. "Why did it take you so long to realize that you were too hot?" you may ask? Well, for the main reason that I didn't feel too hot. I just started to feel faint. So now what to do? I have good feelings from this and bad ones.

Good: I finally know how to get rid of the faintness besides just laying around waiting for it. I predict that I'll have a lot of luke-warm showers with the fan on high in the upcoming weeks/months.

Bad: This isn't going to get any better until I have baby. The weather (besides today) has been pretty constantly getting warmer and warmer. I will only get hotter and seeing as our apartment doesn't have AC, this just might be a problem. Who knows? Either I'll be sticking my head in the freezer more often the next few weeks/months or maybe I'll have to have multiple luke-warm/cold showers/baths in one day. Which I don't really feel happy about.

But hey, at least I know the cause so I can maybe try to prevent it or at the very least get rid of it without wasting time laying on the couch.

Also, this is another reason why milk is even more my miricle drink. Eases nausea, cools my body down... is there anything milk CAN'T do for me?

I'm so clever!

I looked out the window and what did I see??

Six whole inches hiding all of the grass.

Spring has brought me such a nice(?)...... surprise.

Six whole inches hiding all of the grass.

I can take an armful and make a treat,

An ice cream cone that would taste so sweet.

It wasn't really so,

But it seemed to be,

Six whole inches hiding all of the grass.

You name it

It happened.

Ok ok. So it wasn't that bad.

Last week, we had planned to visit family this weekend. We needed to get taxes done and it had been so long since we had gone to visit. My ward DID change the linger longer, so we wanted to be back home for church Sunday so we could go to it.

To start off: Rocket Scientist comes home from work on Thursday (I think), I drag myself out of bed, and almost the first words out of his mouth were, "Hon, I don't think we can go down this weekend." Not the best way to start a morning. I didn't even realize how much I was just trying to live through the week for a tinsy tiny little break with family on the weekend until he said that.

Second problem: We pulled out of our parking spot right before leaving and we sound and feel like we jut ran over something. Rocket Scientist goes to check and comes back to the cab of the car to say that our muffler just fell off. I start pondering if maybe something is telling us not to leave or if it is someone else saying not to leave when we really should. It would have been more obvious if we were going to the temple or something.

We left anyway.

Rocket Scientist worked on getting the muffler all the way off (it was hanging by a thread. Or rather two rubber things), shoved it in the trunk in case anything was salvagable and we headed off with a prayer in our hearts. One thing I should tell you about our muffler, is that uh... we have been driving with a huge hole in it for probably longer than six months. We already knew we needed to fix it...

We got to our parent's house in safety, but they insisted that we drive their car back and leave ours to be looked at and fixed up. We did so. We are safe at home now. My computer isn't fixed like I was hoping it would be by this time but at least we finally have the things we need to fix it.

That is our weekend story.

By the way. I fell asleep while writing this as well as when I was proof-reading it for typos. So don't feel bad if you fall asleep to. I just wanted to complain a little. And sleep. Hmmm.... I guess I'll go lay down now.

Demands

My forehead is currently forming permanent crease lines, my eye brows pulled together.

Bug has been particularly tantrumy tonight. Not only that, but he is demanding. "Mom, I need this. Mom, get me that. Mom, help me with this (something he most certainly doesn't need help with). Mom... Mom... Mom... MOM!!!" It is driving me insane. I try and do what I was working on, reading, cross-stitch, or any other non-mom related activity and then get interrupted with, "MOM!!!"

"I am quite put out!"

Have I mentioned that I hate being interrupted? I first thought it was just being interrupted with talking. I HATE that. But then I'll get interrupted with something else and I get a slight twinge of upsetness. I'll be reading someone's blog and someone will claim my attention or Rocket Scientist will just start talking as if we were in the middle of a conversation. Uh... I'm staring at my computer screen, do you think you MIGHT want to call my name or otherwise get my attention BEFORE you just start talking?

It almost makes me feel as if what I want to do is lessened in importance to what others demand. Even just the word demand bugs me. I try and not be demanding. I try and ask. Get someone's attention before I interrupt them with something I deem of importance. Like laundry that I can't put in the dryer because of my stupid back that won't let me lift something heavier than Bug. Sometimes not even him if I am having a bad back day.

Am I being selfish? Have I become the demanding one? Where is the fine line between respect for someone's wants and what I want or maybe even need?

Any thoughts? I could sure use the uplifting advice from someone much wiser than I.

"This is all very vexing!"

Don't forget your history!

For some reason I have really been thinking about this lately. I was listening to a little bit myself a little while ago. My family could quote this whole thing to you word for word perfect.

For those of you who need a little refresher... here you go. Enjoy! ^_^ (don't forget to pause my music player on the side...)