Some very late pictures... blame it on my computer problems.

So here are some pictures. A friend of mine wanted "belly pictures" so I obliged. I can't really even remember when these were taken, but they were around the time of the computer/car problems, so that is my excuse for not posting them sooner.

Anyway, here they are (this is a very random selection of pictures...):

Either of these "belly pics" are not really all that attractive... but my personal photographer takes forever to take a picture, and by the time he does, my smile is quite sarcastic and uh... very unflattering. :)




















Bug wanted to hug the baby and so we took a picture of it. It isn't very good either, seeing as he looks constipated... but you get the idea... lol




















These next few are cute ones of Bug.

Sleeping while eating: reminds me of the picture my mom took of me with a book balanced on my nose while sleeping in my bed. Yes, that is right. If I had it, I would scan it and show you all. In any case, his sandwich is balanced in his hands there. Don't ask me how it didn't fall out...
















100% cute. Need another explaination???




















(look at previous comment...)




















LOVE this pose. He is SOOOOO cute!!!
















And last but not least... I did promise that when I finished the most recent block on my crazy cross-stitch project, I would post pictures of it. The first two pics (close ups) are supposed to have sparkly snow on them. I tried to get close enough you could see it, but my camera wouldn't co-operate. So this is what you get. (this just in... I just clicked on the picture to get closer, and you can kinda see some sparkliness. Go ahead and try it.) Anyway, I'm almost done with the next block next to that one (finishing up the house) so when that is done, I will post pictures. ^_^



































As close as I could get to showing you that whole block.




















The whole picture. Well... sort of. You don't get the top of the project, but I figured since I posted pictures of it earlier, you could go back to see them... lemme find the link for you...
















So yeah... I guess that is all for now. The next block that you will get to see is the last bit of that house and a little side of the church next to it (stain glass windows!!!). So yeah. And it is almost done seeing as it didn't have a whole lot of building or trees in it.

Side note: Bug just interrupted me, saying that we needed to pray. He said it, and was very good with closing his eyes through the whole thing. He said things in it like: "and Mommy", "and Daddy", "Daddy's sleeping", "toys cleaned up", and other such cute statements that were too quiet and I didn't pick it up... SO CUTE!!! ^_^

Overwhelmed? Just a bit...

Well, we have signed with our new apartment complex. Put a deposit down. My house is a mess. (you should know that I just spelled mouse in the place of house... I changed it for your benefit, but that tells you just how boggled my brain is right now and of course, where I live now isn't even a house per-say, but I still call it that when I don't think properly)

My head feels like it is exploding. Maybe I should take a headache pill before it gets much worse. I am living off of lists right now. I put down what needs to be done when I think about it. Otherwise, things will not get done the way they should be and all that. Or maybe not even get done until the day of the deadline. If I didn't do this, I think I would go crazy.

As far as cleaning/packing/organizing is going... well I did a little of that today before Bug woke up. Can't even remember exactly WHAT I did, but I know I did something to get this house in some sort of order before I pack it up. It will be easier to pack it in order if it is in order to begin with.

Overall though, we are both being more self-conscious about the cleanliness of our housem (that's a combination of house and home) and trying to do a little bit better when we clean, and actually reaching the walls of the apartment that we don't even own.

Sorry this is so random. My brain is kinda bogged down with a ton of stuff...

It's official

We are moving.

Our car is currently full of empty boxes we leached off my parents.

I'll be busy cleaning/organizing/packing the next month or so.

So yeah.

Just thought I'd let you all know.

Change is in the air

This post is bound to be full of ramblings. Just as a warning.

A new baby is on the way. Bug is almost three. THREE!!! I don't know where the years have gone! Rocket Scientist is looking into changing majors. And last but not least, we just looked at options for new housing. We aren't making enough to do anything towards a house, so looking at another apartment complex. Preferably one without cinder-block walls, nicer accommodations, bigger, and still within our price range. We found one that we are reasonably satisfied with from just the online connection we have with it. We will most likely be going there tomorrow or something to check it out a bit more and see if they have openings.

Pretty much all of these changes are inevitable. Switching apartments does have to change, but the time of the change is subject to change. haha.

I'm not really sure how I feel about moving. I have so many friends here in this apartment complex and others that I'm just getting to know. Rocket Scientist and I have spent all our married life in this apartment (minus the summers we spent with family...). This has been Bug's only home. The only place with memories of Little Angel.

Then again... the walls are cinder block and keep NO warm air in during the winter. There is no dishwasher. EVERYTHING needs to be re-done. There is no cupboard or drawers in the bathroom. The washer is IN the bathroom with the dryer OUTSIDE! We are quickly outgrowing the apartment with all our furniture and toys and electronics and.... etc....

Add on the fact that we are totally disorganized at this point, our apartment is a MESS and the storage is just that. Don't ask me to FIND anything in it... Then the plain and simple fact that Rocket Scientist is asleep for a good part of the day, the morning (when he is awake) is spent with me laying down hoping not to faint. Back aches. Faintness when I do my hair... All the problems that I have been talking about lately on here.

One more aspect: I feel like it is time. I'm being pulled to moving. Almost as if my limited time in my wonderful ward is now over. My chance to make a difference in the ward has come and gone. No more (or very little chance) being able to lift someone here. Serve this wonderful ward who has done so much for me. But like I say. It almost feels right to move now. Rocket Scientist still needs to finish school, but I feel our time here in this apartment has run down. It is time to move on.

Don't ask me how it will happen. I'm still not even sure IF it will happen, but the possibility is sure there. Others have moved while they were pregnant. Some into our ward when they were about to pop! If they could do it, so can I.

But just the thought makes me just a wee bit nervous...

PJ's

Yesterday was a PJ day. I didn't go to band. I sat, or more exact, laid around all day long moaning about the fact that I couldn't do anything else.

Sunday I left church early. I couldn't even sit through Sacrament Meeting, Rocket Scientist had to take me home.

To sum this all up... the faintness feelings/episodes are becoming more fierce. And one thing that I have found from yesterday and Sunday is that I didn't like to be cold during them. Sure, we tried that to help me out of it, but once I got a little bit cooler, I just wanted to be warm after that, but I wasn't feeling any less faint or weak. My next appointment is Thursday and it is my glucose test. I'm going to ask them to check my iron as well. But until then I guess I'll just have to deal.

But. This isn't a post I was planning on complaining through the whole post. So I'll change the vibe right here and now.

A lot of friends and family have lately posted on their blogs about enjoying now. No matter what is going on in their life at the time. Right now it seems the only thing I can think about is my weak limbs, my heart that feels like it is beating too fast or maybe even skipping beats (it did this before I was pregnant or even married, but doctors can't ever catch it so I haven't been diagnosed for anything), my aching back that never goes away, and the list goes on.

The only thing I find that I can think about right now is how I feel like I can't do anything to get our house in order or keep up with chores because if I try to pick up a load of laundry, my back kills over, or I'll suddenly feel faint, or ..... you get the picture. I feel so useless at times just sitting around waiting for someone else to clean up my home.

Oh dear, I'm falling into the complainingness aren't I? Well, I was thinking today of what I'm blessed with. Bug is the cutest little boy ever. Even when I want to scold him or something, he smiles at me or does some other "melting the heart" type action and I can't do anything but smile. Sometimes when I lay down on the couch (from faintness) telling Bug that I feel sick, he'll come over, say "Your back hurts?" and give my back a kiss. For a two year old... he's been very understanding throughout all this body weakness of mine. Even last night he asked for a bath before bed (which is part of his bedtime routine) and I said that I was sorry but I couldn't give him one because my back hurt. I expected him to start crying again (he wasn't liking the idea of going to bed last night), but he just said "Oh... Ok."

As for Rocket Scientist, he has been very patient with the fact that we hardly have clean dishes, how he has to occasionally wear dirty clothes because there aren't any clean ones around, or how we have piles of stuff piled on every chair, couch, or anything else you can sit on. He has been waking up a little early from his naps to make dinner (or finish the dinner I started but couldn't finish). He has been nothing but accommodating, and I really don't deserve him.

In the mean time I'll just have to be patient with myself. Maybe the only thing I can get organized right now is my computer (transferring files from one hard drive to my current C drive). I'll just have to be happy with that for now.

Twi-ness

Post warning: This post is solely on the very most recent movie/book craze. About vampires. And love. If you could care less about the ramblings of a Twi-hard/Twilighter... then please, stop reading now. I will not be offended if you skip this post and in all reality... how would I know if you did or didn't read anyway?

I am a Twi-hard/Twilighter. I am not ashamed to admit it. We have the whole series and bought the movie the very same day it came out. We aren't as firm Twi-hards/Twilighters that we actually went to a midnight opening thing of it. But we did in fact buy the movie last Saturday when it came out.

We watched it yesterday, only really because we really REALLY needed the time together, and we couldn't do it Saturday night seeing as Rocket Scientist was so tired he claimed he was going to take just a half hour nap and I was to wake him up after that (I couldn't... he wouldn't wake up) and we would watch it together eating our newly bought popcorn and Twilight Necco Sweethearts. Yes, you heard me right. Necco came out with some conversation hearts (you know the ones... the ones that you absolutely HAVE to have on heart shaped sugar cookies and that you can only get around Valentine's Day) that are Twilight themed. They say such things like "Bite me", "Dazzle", "Forks", "Lamb", "Live 4 Ever", and even "I <3 EC". I haven't personally found one that said that, but I'm working on it.

The only thing I really remember about watching the movie on at the theaters was the fact that there was a HUGE group of giggly teenage girls in the back. They would swoon every time Carlisle or Edward or sometimes even Emmett came on screen. Rocket Scientist (yes he was there with me... he uh... actually got ME into the books) and I just sat there and almost laughed out loud many times but not at the movie (though we certainly did when it warranted that) but at the HUGE group of giggly teenage girls in the back. I also remember thinking that they did reasonably well with the movie.

After watching it again at home I was able to see things in it that kind of bug me. Not that I am resigning my post as a Twi-hard/Twilighter, there were just things that I think they could have done if it wasn't as much of a "rush order" movie. Maybe if Harry Potter wasn't moved to this summer and Twilight came out in December like it originally planned it might not have turned out quite the way it is. Who knows?

Here are my thoughts (not sure of spoilers... read the rest of this at your own discretion):

• Edward doesn't seem to be enjoying his time with Bella AT ALL. He is scowling or looks frustrated or mad or in pain almost all the time. Ok... there are two scenes that I like better than the others because he is actually smiling... One: when they are walking to class after they become "public" and Edward picked Bella up for school for the very first time. Two: At the prom. I think the meadow scene could have been MUCH better, and uh... they could both have looked like they were enjoying themselves just a BIT more. And I do understand the fact that her blood calls to him and causes him physical pain to be around her, but still... in the book he at least smiles a majority of the time... or at least that is how I remember it...
• They totally don't have any conversation in the movie at all. Sure the parts where we are learning more about vampires in general or the Cullen family in particular, but other than that, you don't have any other sort of bonding type conversations. It seems more like lust rather than love because of this. You don't see (or rather hear... there are a few scenes where you see them talking but you can't hear what they are saying) really anything for them to like about each other but their bodies. Thus it constitutes lust rather than love to me.
• Seems WAY too rushed. Like I said above "rush order" movie. There are scenes that are just not done really all that well. One: The meadow scene and the whole scene before that when she sees him sparkle and he's showing off his vampireistic powers. Two: in the hospital at the very end when Bella freaks out. I just hate that part. It is so..... what is the word?? Immature. Yeah, I guess that works. And the way she reacts also makes me believe more in the fact that they lust for rather than loves each other.
  

I guess that is pretty much it. It just could have been done much better I think if it weren't done so fast or maybe new directing was needed? I'm not sure. In any case, I just think it could have been done a whole lot better. I still enjoy it. I still love the story. I just don't think it was portrayed the best on screen.

But then again... what good book is?

Stay cold stay!!!

So... I started to cook dinner a little earlier yesterday in the hopes that we would finish earlier, and Bug might actually get to bed at a decent hour. We tend to have dinner a bit later because Rocket Scientist takes a nap in the afternoon, and I want him to get as much sleep as possible.

I started dinner with a pound of hamburger. The kitchen was an absolute mess. Dishes everywhere, no room for anything else on the table, yadda, yadda, yadda. To be completely truthful though, I guess I started by washing dishes. I cleaned out one side of the sink so I could wash the pan that I would need to cook the hamburger. Once that was done and drying I thawed the meat. As that was thawing, I dried the pan and the other dishes that now filled the drying rack so I could wash more dishes.

*sigh* I digress.

So I finally got the meat cooking. Put seasonings on it and all that, and had it browning as I washed even more dishes so we could actually have something to eat on besides a dirty table. I was feeling optimistic and accomplished. I envisioned waking Rocket Scientist up to dinner and a clean and organized kitchen, the table emptied and washed off as well as all the counters. I would have appreciated having the dishes I used to make dinner washed, but I figured I couldn't get that far. See. I was trying to set boundaries.

Then it happened... My heart started to feel like it was racing (it wasn't), I started to feel out of breath like I had just ran a marathon (I didn't), and I was feeling very weak as if I performed in a dance recital while fasting (I haven't... at least not recently). I cursed my luck. I finished the dish I was working on at the time, and quickly decided in my head that it wasn't necessary to wake Rocket Scientist up quite yet. I would lay down on the couch and wait for it to pass and finish making dinner.

I wasn't feeling very optimistic about that plan. Seeing as whenever this happens, I have to lay down for at least an hour before I start to even think about getting back up.

I mumbled to Bug (who was begging me for attention and to play with him) that I was feeling sick and needed to lay down. He is usually pretty good if I tell him that. I can still kind of (weakly) play with him as long as he brings the toys to the couch. I laid there for a while. At least long enough for the meat to sound quieter. I knew that if I didn't do something soon it would start to burn. I cursed my luck again and weakly started to stand up to wake Rocket Scientist up to finish making dinner while I laid down like a lump on a log.

Probably due to the picture I had imagined waking him up to and pregnancy hormones and feeling like a lazy schmuck and, and, and........ I cried a lot on the bed there. It didn't help that I was already feeling out of breath and could hardly breath when I WASN'T crying, but whatever. Rocket Scientist (like a good, patient husband) left me to my tears and left to make dinner because I pointed out that the meat might be burning now (he wanted to stay and wipe away my tears).

My crying stalled, and finally stopped. Almost at the same time that my body decided to start working for me properly and though I probably shouldn't have, I came out of my room and started to wash dishes again while Rocket Scientist worked on dinner. After about 8-10 dishes it came back. More forcefully probably than it did the last time, and I couldn't even finish washing the current dish. I put it down halfway soapy and went to lay on the couch again and almost bursting into tears again.

As I laid there I thought of what I put on here earlier about these episodes and how I thought they were connected to heat though I never feel hot when they happen. Right behind our couch is a window. I weakly reached up and opened it. Cool (maybe even cold to a normal person who doesn't have an internal heater like me) air washed over my face and I felt instantly better. I breathed in the cool, fresh air for quite a while as it renewed my muscles and organs.

As I enjoyed the cool air on my face, my mind was thinking (and falling into depression in the process) about the coming months. Not having AC in my apartment, I was bound to not be able to have this cool (and fresh) of air throughout the coming months. I started to foresee the fact that I'll be spending a lot of days/weeks/months laying down not able to do anything but faint if I stand up.

So I know that a lot of people are wanting warm air.... I vote that winter should stay. Where is that 12" of snow we got almost a week and a half ago?? Forget the summer. I'm dreading even the spring...