As of late, I have attempted to explain how busy I am, how bogged down I am with everything, how close I am to breaking.
Last night I got 7 hours of sleep, but my brain was still fuzzy and weird when I woke.
The night before I got 2 and a half (probably the cause of my brain still being fuzzy).
I'm going for 7 (at least) again this night... but that all depends on how fast I can type my feelings and thoughts on here.
I finally thought of a great way to explain how my life is right now. And it is very nearly what I told the King a while ago (and posted on here, you might remember). I am reaching, scraping, clawing straining my muscles to the limit trying to accomplish everything I have to do to the best of my ability. Yet I'm always just under par. Just under my own personal expectation of myself. I know I can do better in each individual group, yet with everything, mother, primary teacher, UTF, Japanese student, English student (and all that entails - writing a bazillion essays, reading thousands upon thousands of words, watching movies for the Shakespeare class), wife, being true to myself and giving me the breaks that I need.... I'm falling just short in everything. And I hate it. I have said many times that I think I gave myself too much this semester. I don't think it. I know it. Spring break is coming up, and I plan on having a completely lazy day. I don't even know if I will change out of my pjs. It shall be known as my sleeping marathon. Not work on anything ANYTHING unless I feel like it (or unless it is absolutely needed - chitlin hugs, food... things like that). Even my story. Well... that one depends on if Dim (my muse) will talk with me or not. I probably shouldn't use up my creative energy for anything.
And hopefully with a whole week off, I will be able to recuperate enough to get through the rest of the school semester.
