Can I have some?

welcome to my blog.

a place to post. a place to eat oreos. a place to vent. a place to heal.

i started this blog so i could use a different outlet besides munching on fattening oreos. as if that has done any good... *mind wanders to oreo package in the house...*

then i realized that oreos can be semi symbolic. if you are are that crazy about oreos that is. which... i am.

eating oreos is therapeutic for me. when i am struggling or when i need a pick me up. they have chocolate. and sugar. both of which help lift my mood. not to mention that i eat them soaked with milk, which is my miracle drink.

i post my posts to not only get stuff out. there may be people who read my blog who have been in the same kind of situations as i have. i hope reading them and knowing that others have gone through things like i have, will be to you what eating oreos does to me.

and yes. i didn't capitalize anything in here. i just felt like it. deal with it.

munch up.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Bug/Good news

Bug has been adorably cute the past few days... to look at a few things he has said, check the Wise Sayings side bar. Even better than that though, I have been able to smile and see the humor in life. Look forward to more good quotes from Bug.

Enjoy. Don't forget to munch on Oreos.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Good news

First off... Bug is wandering around the house pretending that twenty dollars keep appearing out of our shirt pockets (which are also non-existent). Check out the side bar for a quote from it. In actuality he saw bills sitting on my desk to encourage that wise saying.

On to the good news. I realized the other day that I stopped doing my Good News minutes. I don't think this is a reenactment of it, but just something to post about.

Lately I have really been struggling with trust. Especially dealing with God. It is hard for me to trust anyone really. Especially when that trust has been let down even once. (hmm... maybe that is why I don't trust myself... random thought...) A couple nights ago, I prayed again. It was the first time in a long time. Who knows what will happen from that.

Last night I was very scared. All the lights were out. I felt alone and vulnerable. At one point I felt safe enough to silently cry for help like I have done many times when this happens. I can't really remember if I had any comfort come at that point in time, but I remember realizing that I may be feeling especially scared at that moment because Satan knew I prayed the night before, and he wanted me to be scared enough that I would just lay down in bed and huddle in waiting for sleep to come like I have done many times before.

I guess that thought gave me the courage I needed. I grabbed my two stuffed animals that give me comfort (one I have had since I was a child, the other Rocket Scientist gave me), knelt down and prayed. It was a simple prayer. Nothing too special. Mainly just saying that I was scared and needed help.

I'm not posting this to brag about anything or show off how spiritual I am. In my prayer I actually said, "though I feel unworthy for your consideration". It is true. I truly feel that. I know that I am a child of God and that He loves me. Knowing ≠ feeling.

Nevertheless, I felt comfort and peace in my heart. I got up and went to bed with thanksgiving replacing my fear.

And that. Is good news.

Take that Satan.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Humpty Dumpty

I feel like Humpty Dumpty. But instead of falling off just once, I'm falling off again, and again, and again, and again. Soon I'll just be a pile of rubble.

Not to mention that I can't ever seem to be put back together again.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Oreos Anyone?

So. I have had a long week of relaxation and contemplation.

To begin my posts from the past week, I have changed the blog a little. The comic strip (which describes me to a tee) above was made by a friend of mine and his friends (I believe). I read it and KNEW it had to be in my blog. So there you have it. I asked my friend if I could and he said sure as long as I linked their site to mine. So... check out the side bar for that.

Anyway. I will be posting some thoughts and poems and things that have happened in the past month or so. Most of the healing/deeper thoughts that I have had occurred this week while I was away from kids and hubby. It was a lot easier to think that way.

Also, another random update as far as my projects that I'm working on is concerned... I have been knitting a sweater for myself and have finished the front and the back. I also recently started to knit a dress for a friend of mine who is due with a little girl next month.

The kids missed me. I think. Or at least Bug said he did. I think my little vacation was the perfect length. Right when we started to miss each other is when my vacation ended. It was cute and yet a little heart wrenching to hear Bug say:

"Mom. I missed you. It made me sad."

"Mom. I want to go home, with Baby, and with Mom and with Daddy. All go home."

So cute. The kids spent the time with grandparents, so they were thoroughly spoiled. Yet I believe they missed me after a while.

That is that. Keep posted for a few more posts on my progress.