Can I have some?

welcome to my blog.

a place to post. a place to eat oreos. a place to vent. a place to heal.

i started this blog so i could use a different outlet besides munching on fattening oreos. as if that has done any good... *mind wanders to oreo package in the house...*

then i realized that oreos can be semi symbolic. if you are are that crazy about oreos that is. which... i am.

eating oreos is therapeutic for me. when i am struggling or when i need a pick me up. they have chocolate. and sugar. both of which help lift my mood. not to mention that i eat them soaked with milk, which is my miracle drink.

i post my posts to not only get stuff out. there may be people who read my blog who have been in the same kind of situations as i have. i hope reading them and knowing that others have gone through things like i have, will be to you what eating oreos does to me.

and yes. i didn't capitalize anything in here. i just felt like it. deal with it.

munch up.

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Shorinji Kempo

When I first mentioned this on my blog a few posts down I said it was a Japanese martial art.  Well, that is kind of true - but more than that, it isn't about fighting, it is about defending yourself, and anyone around you.  There are offensive techniques, but those are taught to be used when it is already clear that you or someone near you is getting attacked.

In any case, it is more a way of life, a form of living rather than a martial art.  We meditate every practice, and we talk about values.  It is founded on the Buddhism values, but as it is taught in America, we don't focus on the religious aspect of it, but the mindset and trying to find peace in life and stuff like that.  It is hard to explain.

But for me, it has become to be a form of therapy.  I have a lot of anger built up that I hid myself from my whole life.  And there have been times when I went to kempo holding in all that anger throughout the day.  And then sensei would pull out the big rectangular pads, as large as a torso and I got really excited, because that means we are practicing kicks.  Having done dance for 13 years of my life, my legs were always more strong than my arms, which means my kicks are a lot stronger than my punches.  And kicking things when I'm angry and frustrated is really helpful.  And therapeutic.  It has helped me more than anything else since my bubble popped about a year ago and all my angry emotions came flying out.

And that's why I have stuck with it all summer despite the lung problems and the palpitating heart.  And for the first time in probably nearing 10 years, I can feel muscle in my upper arm instead of just flab.  It doesn't raise up yet when I flex, but I can feel it.  But disregarding the good things it is doing for my physical body, my emotions and my mind probably get some of the best benefit from it.  I always feel really refreshed in all aspects after kempo.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Fun quotes

I haven't been keeping up with letting you know what we have been up to this summer, as you know, but I thought I would record this fun conversation that happened when we were on a trip.

We stopped at a place to eat near a lake and I noticed the gas price.  I can't remember how high it was now, but this is what happened after.

Me: "Whoa... look at that price!"
Pro Boxer: "Yeah, let's not fuel up here."
I didn't respond for a moment because I heard: "Yeah, it's not fuel up here," and all I could think was, Why wouldn't it be fuel? What else would it be?  Eventually....
Me: "Oh!! Yeah, let's not do that." (cause I finally realized what he really said.)
He looked at me funny, wondering why it took me that long to respond and after I explained it, we had a good laugh.  ^_^

And a few random quotes from the kids:

Goof Ball:

~"Mom, is this yours?"  He is insanely obsessed with knowing who possesses all the items in the house, and amazingly enough, sticks to leaving the things that are mine alone.  For a four year old, that is pretty surprising.

~"I'm not a silly kid, you a silly kid!" and naturally I respond, "I'm not a silly kid, you're a silly kid!" - this goes on for a long time, and it varies depending on if I first called him a goof ball, silly goose, crazy kid, etc...

~"Mom, I wanna go home."  The silly thing with this sentence is he says it when we are home and he wants to go somewhere else.  Then I have to try to explain to his silly and very stubborn brain that we are home.  He often gets upset and starts crying at this news. :)

~"It's my turn!"  This isn't too odd for someone his age, but the surprising thing about it, is that he lets Bug have his turn on the ipad until the clock chimes (which has turned into a change-who-plays-with-ipad alarm rather than, Shay-get-off-your-butt-and-do-things alarm).  Often I didn't even notice the clock chime when I hear Goof Ball say this, but then I look at the clock and see that it is indeed either :15, :30, :45, or :00.


~"I wanna do homework."  This happened after I told him how soon school would start, and he started printing worksheet things off of and dutifully showed them to me to correct and put a sticker on them.  Hopefully that enthusiasm will continue.

~"Mom, that hurted my ears."  I corrected him on the right way to say hurt in past tense (really, is there a present or plain tense for hurt???)  The next time he started to say hurted again, but corrected himself and said it the right way.  I just had to smile.  He is growing so much, and loves learning.

~"Mom, I want to do an experiment."  He then proceeds to tell me how solids are solids and liquids are liquids and says he wants to put juice in ice trays and put them in the freezer during the night.  I told him we couldn't do that one, but thank goodness he had a second experiment which is to see how long it would take an ice cube to melt when placed in the sun.  Again, we used the chimes as our time placers and tallied how many times the clock chimed.  Bug guessed 1 chime and it would be melted, I guessed 4.  We were both wrong.  Any guesses?

Truthfully, I would like to write more specific quotes from Bug, but he is just so random and around-the-bushy with the way he talks, that it is hard to really get anything straight from him.  Which obviously makes it hard for me to remember specific quotes.  But sometimes he will just randomly say, "Mom," and I'll say "what," and he'll say, "I love you."  Which is the quote I love best to hear.

Thursday, August 8, 2013


I feel like I'm finally starting to get a grasp on my kids' personalities.  I may have known before, but I'm finally seeing where they come from, and able to articulate what their personalities are like.

Bug is very serious minded.  I mean, he is a kid like any other and likes to have fun and be silly... but he isn't nearly as silly as his little brother.  I can't tell you the many times when Bug would take a joke of Pro Boxer's seriously and have to be reconciled by me to let him know that Daddy was just joking.  I still have to - many times over.  In this, I think Bug gets it from me.  But then he seems to also have some of Pro Boxer in him with how he likes to have things organized and gets frustrated at Goof Ball for the times when he messes things up.  Don't get me wrong, our house is far from clean - but in certain things, he likes to have it organized and set... even when he was a baby playing with blocks, he lined them up perfectly.  He didn't build things like I thought, but he would make sure everything was in its place.  Someone gave him crayons and a coloring book, and what did he do?  He lined the crayons up on the ground.  :)

As for Goof Ball... I think I had a bit of an understanding of his character and personality for a while.  I'm judging that off of his blog name.  I came up with that when he was probably 6 months or so... and it still hasn't changed.  But on top of his complete goofiness (that he clearly gets from Pro Boxer), he also is really stubborn.  Like me.  We have had many a meal battle, and I often won.  I have 24 more years of stubborn experience than him, so that is to be expected.  But he since has found a way to win in his own sneaky way, and it pisses me off. :)  "Eat or go to bed."  That's the rule I set up.  One time I set a plate in front of him, and he looked up at me and said, "I tired."  Its like he knew he couldn't win, so he just gave up from the get go.  I don't know what to do with him sometimes. :)  Though this knowing that he can't win against my stubbornness helped when we started potty training.  Pro Boxer couldn't do anything to get him to go pee on the toilet.  My school stopped, within a week later, he was peeing on the toilet.  It's like he said to himself, "Well, Mom's at it now, guess I can't win anymore... may as well give in."

(I have to insert here, what just happened.  He didn't finish his breakfast this morning, because he is still on the tail end of his food strike.  He came to me complaining about the wii remotes not having batteries.  But then he asked for juice.  I said he needed to finish his food before he got any juice.  He went over and looked at it then said, "I don't need juice."  And I said fine.  ..... little punk.)

Goof Ball gets one more paragraph, because this is one aspect of his character that I just started to realize.  So he is goofy, and stubborn.  But he is also stubborn with his goofiness.  When he wants to be silly, nothing can stop him.  In this, there is no way for me to win over his stubbornness.  I'm trying to get Bug to realize this as well, because sometimes Bug wants to be serious with something or other, but Goof Ball is being completely crazy, and no one can stop him.  My excuse to Bug when this happens is, "He's just four.  He doesn't understand rules or anything like that, so just try to play by his rules."  Which works for now. :)

I have to wonder how these two completely different personalities will continue to grow with each other... :)

Potty story:
So as Goof Ball has been really focused on potty stuff lately, this happened.  I told my mom about it on the phone and she said I should put it on here... I am just getting to it now.

I had a friend over, and she needed to use the bathroom.  So I stayed where I was as she left and Goof Ball followed her.  I heard him lay down in front of the bathroom (like he had many times when I went, I don't even really think about it anymore).  After a moment, he said, "Mom!  She's going pee!" because he could hear it.  My poor friend was so startled, that she stopped instinctively even though she had more to go.  The silence made Goof Ball say, "Mom!  She's going poop!"  Well that earned him an exasperated sigh from me as my palm hit my forehead.  Then he said, "I need to go pee."  So I took him to the downstairs bathroom.  Only to find a text a few moments later from my friend telling me to take him away. :)  I got the text a little late... but anyway, that's the story.

And since I told a story about Goof Ball, here is the latest interesting information from Bug:
Apparently when Goof Ball turns 5 then we are going to have another baby in the house.  This is not an official announcement from me trying to be creative in saying that I'm expecting (I'm not...) this is purely from the Bug's mouth.  But if that is the case, I guess I need to get my IUD out and get busy, because Goof Ball turns 5 in June...  This statement also shows just how calculating and serious Bug is.  He decided this at least a year ago - and he still hasn't wavered or forgot about it.  Let's just say... I have silly kids.