But enough about that, now is the time to reminisce back to the weekend. I'll try not to be too gory with the details. ~_^
Where to begin... well, in playing in the Jazz Band, we do an annual dinner/dance for people to raise funds for scholarships. Pretty fun to do... pretty fun to experience. This year I was able to convince Pro Boxer to come Saturday night (it is a three-ish night thing). He had come one year right before he proposed (I think it was the first year we did this) and well... I felt bad for him afterward. With me being in one of the bands, all he got to do was sit around and wait for my band to finish playing with people looking on sympathetically. Sad day. But this year Pro Boxer came the same night as my parents and a couple they are good friends with so he didn't have to sit at a table by himself.
Anyway, to pull this off, we had to find a babysitter to watch the kids (and likely have the kids sleep over as the night goes really late). We were able to find some (yay!) and it was a glorious weekend. We were so pumped to have time together that we got all ready and primped hours before we had to drop the kids off... haha.
Today though when we went to get the kids, they seemed happy enough to see me again, but when we left... Bug was sobbing. He had never sobbed so much to leave friends. Which in a way I guess is a good thing... well more than that it is a negative thing in my opinion. Bug was saying things like, "I didn't want to come home with you! I want to stay with my friends!" I was starting to get more than a little hurt that he was acting this way, though I guess I could understand a bit. To be honest, we don't have the kids hang out with other kids very much, probably due in part because Pro Boxer and I are basically hermits and don't get out much. In any case, I was trying to get Bug to understand how his words hurt me, but I'm not sure I got through to him. When I asked, "I really missed you. Did you miss me?" The response was, "No." I realized then that it was pointless to try to get him to understand the pain he was causing and gave up.
No, I understand that he said that probably because, as I said before, we don't have friends his size come over very much. Or go to other people's houses. Having done that, and for an extended period of time, it was bound to be much funner than staying at home with a mom trying to finish homework and a little baby who doesn't know how to play with him with the rules that Bug lays down. I'm trying to not think things like, "Maybe I'm not really all that great of a mom," or being depressed about this, but well... tis hard. And obviously as I am blogging about it, it cut me pretty deep.
On a bit more positive note, the babysitter friend of mine was saying that when Bug and Goof Ball woke up right at seven in the morning, Goof Ball was saying, "Mama, mama..." over and over again. And when she walked in the room he looked at her and shook his head and said, "Mama, mama..." I was glad when she said that, for it shows that he missed me. But well... WHY CAN'T HE CALL ME MAMA TO MY FACE?!?!? When we were driving home, I turned around to look at him and said, "Mama?" Then he got this mischievous look on his face and babbled nonsense words that only babies can understand. *rolls eyes...*
Anyway... tis the end of my rant. Thanks for reading. As always thoughts or suggestions are welcome.