Can I have some?

welcome to my blog.

a place to post. a place to eat oreos. a place to vent. a place to heal.

i started this blog so i could use a different outlet besides munching on fattening oreos. as if that has done any good... *mind wanders to oreo package in the house...*

then i realized that oreos can be semi symbolic. if you are are that crazy about oreos that is. which... i am.

eating oreos is therapeutic for me. when i am struggling or when i need a pick me up. they have chocolate. and sugar. both of which help lift my mood. not to mention that i eat them soaked with milk, which is my miracle drink.

i post my posts to not only get stuff out. there may be people who read my blog who have been in the same kind of situations as i have. i hope reading them and knowing that others have gone through things like i have, will be to you what eating oreos does to me.

and yes. i didn't capitalize anything in here. i just felt like it. deal with it.

munch up.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Some very late pictures... blame it on my computer problems.

So here are some pictures. A friend of mine wanted "belly pictures" so I obliged. I can't really even remember when these were taken, but they were around the time of the computer/car problems, so that is my excuse for not posting them sooner.

Anyway, here they are (this is a very random selection of pictures...):

Either of these "belly pics" are not really all that attractive... but my personal photographer takes forever to take a picture, and by the time he does, my smile is quite sarcastic and uh... very unflattering. :)

Bug wanted to hug the baby and so we took a picture of it. It isn't very good either, seeing as he looks constipated... but you get the idea... lol

These next few are cute ones of Bug.

Sleeping while eating: reminds me of the picture my mom took of me with a book balanced on my nose while sleeping in my bed. Yes, that is right. If I had it, I would scan it and show you all. In any case, his sandwich is balanced in his hands there. Don't ask me how it didn't fall out...

100% cute. Need another explaination???

(look at previous comment...)

LOVE this pose. He is SOOOOO cute!!!

And last but not least... I did promise that when I finished the most recent block on my crazy cross-stitch project, I would post pictures of it. The first two pics (close ups) are supposed to have sparkly snow on them. I tried to get close enough you could see it, but my camera wouldn't co-operate. So this is what you get. (this just in... I just clicked on the picture to get closer, and you can kinda see some sparkliness. Go ahead and try it.) Anyway, I'm almost done with the next block next to that one (finishing up the house) so when that is done, I will post pictures. ^_^

As close as I could get to showing you that whole block.

The whole picture. Well... sort of. You don't get the top of the project, but I figured since I posted pictures of it earlier, you could go back to see them... lemme find the link for you...

So yeah... I guess that is all for now. The next block that you will get to see is the last bit of that house and a little side of the church next to it (stain glass windows!!!). So yeah. And it is almost done seeing as it didn't have a whole lot of building or trees in it.

Side note: Bug just interrupted me, saying that we needed to pray. He said it, and was very good with closing his eyes through the whole thing. He said things in it like: "and Mommy", "and Daddy", "Daddy's sleeping", "toys cleaned up", and other such cute statements that were too quiet and I didn't pick it up... SO CUTE!!! ^_^

Overwhelmed? Just a bit...

Well, we have signed with our new apartment complex. Put a deposit down. My house is a mess. (you should know that I just spelled mouse in the place of house... I changed it for your benefit, but that tells you just how boggled my brain is right now and of course, where I live now isn't even a house per-say, but I still call it that when I don't think properly)

My head feels like it is exploding. Maybe I should take a headache pill before it gets much worse. I am living off of lists right now. I put down what needs to be done when I think about it. Otherwise, things will not get done the way they should be and all that. Or maybe not even get done until the day of the deadline. If I didn't do this, I think I would go crazy.

As far as cleaning/packing/organizing is going... well I did a little of that today before Bug woke up. Can't even remember exactly WHAT I did, but I know I did something to get this house in some sort of order before I pack it up. It will be easier to pack it in order if it is in order to begin with.

Overall though, we are both being more self-conscious about the cleanliness of our housem (that's a combination of house and home) and trying to do a little bit better when we clean, and actually reaching the walls of the apartment that we don't even own.

Sorry this is so random. My brain is kinda bogged down with a ton of stuff...

Saturday, March 28, 2009

It's official

We are moving.

Our car is currently full of empty boxes we leached off my parents.

I'll be busy cleaning/organizing/packing the next month or so.

So yeah.

Just thought I'd let you all know.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Change is in the air

This post is bound to be full of ramblings. Just as a warning.

A new baby is on the way. Bug is almost three. THREE!!! I don't know where the years have gone! Rocket Scientist is looking into changing majors. And last but not least, we just looked at options for new housing. We aren't making enough to do anything towards a house, so looking at another apartment complex. Preferably one without cinder-block walls, nicer accommodations, bigger, and still within our price range. We found one that we are reasonably satisfied with from just the online connection we have with it. We will most likely be going there tomorrow or something to check it out a bit more and see if they have openings.

Pretty much all of these changes are inevitable. Switching apartments does have to change, but the time of the change is subject to change. haha.

I'm not really sure how I feel about moving. I have so many friends here in this apartment complex and others that I'm just getting to know. Rocket Scientist and I have spent all our married life in this apartment (minus the summers we spent with family...). This has been Bug's only home. The only place with memories of Little Angel.

Then again... the walls are cinder block and keep NO warm air in during the winter. There is no dishwasher. EVERYTHING needs to be re-done. There is no cupboard or drawers in the bathroom. The washer is IN the bathroom with the dryer OUTSIDE! We are quickly outgrowing the apartment with all our furniture and toys and electronics and.... etc....

Add on the fact that we are totally disorganized at this point, our apartment is a MESS and the storage is just that. Don't ask me to FIND anything in it... Then the plain and simple fact that Rocket Scientist is asleep for a good part of the day, the morning (when he is awake) is spent with me laying down hoping not to faint. Back aches. Faintness when I do my hair... All the problems that I have been talking about lately on here.

One more aspect: I feel like it is time. I'm being pulled to moving. Almost as if my limited time in my wonderful ward is now over. My chance to make a difference in the ward has come and gone. No more (or very little chance) being able to lift someone here. Serve this wonderful ward who has done so much for me. But like I say. It almost feels right to move now. Rocket Scientist still needs to finish school, but I feel our time here in this apartment has run down. It is time to move on.

Don't ask me how it will happen. I'm still not even sure IF it will happen, but the possibility is sure there. Others have moved while they were pregnant. Some into our ward when they were about to pop! If they could do it, so can I.

But just the thought makes me just a wee bit nervous...

Tuesday, March 24, 2009


Yesterday was a PJ day. I didn't go to band. I sat, or more exact, laid around all day long moaning about the fact that I couldn't do anything else.

Sunday I left church early. I couldn't even sit through Sacrament Meeting, Rocket Scientist had to take me home.

To sum this all up... the faintness feelings/episodes are becoming more fierce. And one thing that I have found from yesterday and Sunday is that I didn't like to be cold during them. Sure, we tried that to help me out of it, but once I got a little bit cooler, I just wanted to be warm after that, but I wasn't feeling any less faint or weak. My next appointment is Thursday and it is my glucose test. I'm going to ask them to check my iron as well. But until then I guess I'll just have to deal.

But. This isn't a post I was planning on complaining through the whole post. So I'll change the vibe right here and now.

A lot of friends and family have lately posted on their blogs about enjoying now. No matter what is going on in their life at the time. Right now it seems the only thing I can think about is my weak limbs, my heart that feels like it is beating too fast or maybe even skipping beats (it did this before I was pregnant or even married, but doctors can't ever catch it so I haven't been diagnosed for anything), my aching back that never goes away, and the list goes on.

The only thing I find that I can think about right now is how I feel like I can't do anything to get our house in order or keep up with chores because if I try to pick up a load of laundry, my back kills over, or I'll suddenly feel faint, or ..... you get the picture. I feel so useless at times just sitting around waiting for someone else to clean up my home.

Oh dear, I'm falling into the complainingness aren't I? Well, I was thinking today of what I'm blessed with. Bug is the cutest little boy ever. Even when I want to scold him or something, he smiles at me or does some other "melting the heart" type action and I can't do anything but smile. Sometimes when I lay down on the couch (from faintness) telling Bug that I feel sick, he'll come over, say "Your back hurts?" and give my back a kiss. For a two year old... he's been very understanding throughout all this body weakness of mine. Even last night he asked for a bath before bed (which is part of his bedtime routine) and I said that I was sorry but I couldn't give him one because my back hurt. I expected him to start crying again (he wasn't liking the idea of going to bed last night), but he just said "Oh... Ok."

As for Rocket Scientist, he has been very patient with the fact that we hardly have clean dishes, how he has to occasionally wear dirty clothes because there aren't any clean ones around, or how we have piles of stuff piled on every chair, couch, or anything else you can sit on. He has been waking up a little early from his naps to make dinner (or finish the dinner I started but couldn't finish). He has been nothing but accommodating, and I really don't deserve him.

In the mean time I'll just have to be patient with myself. Maybe the only thing I can get organized right now is my computer (transferring files from one hard drive to my current C drive). I'll just have to be happy with that for now.

Monday, March 23, 2009


Post warning: This post is solely on the very most recent movie/book craze. About vampires. And love. If you could care less about the ramblings of a Twi-hard/Twilighter... then please, stop reading now. I will not be offended if you skip this post and in all reality... how would I know if you did or didn't read anyway?

I am a Twi-hard/Twilighter. I am not ashamed to admit it. We have the whole series and bought the movie the very same day it came out. We aren't as firm Twi-hards/Twilighters that we actually went to a midnight opening thing of it. But we did in fact buy the movie last Saturday when it came out.

We watched it yesterday, only really because we really REALLY needed the time together, and we couldn't do it Saturday night seeing as Rocket Scientist was so tired he claimed he was going to take just a half hour nap and I was to wake him up after that (I couldn't... he wouldn't wake up) and we would watch it together eating our newly bought popcorn and Twilight Necco Sweethearts. Yes, you heard me right. Necco came out with some conversation hearts (you know the ones... the ones that you absolutely HAVE to have on heart shaped sugar cookies and that you can only get around Valentine's Day) that are Twilight themed. They say such things like "Bite me", "Dazzle", "Forks", "Lamb", "Live 4 Ever", and even "I <3 EC". I haven't personally found one that said that, but I'm working on it.

The only thing I really remember about watching the movie on at the theaters was the fact that there was a HUGE group of giggly teenage girls in the back. They would swoon every time Carlisle or Edward or sometimes even Emmett came on screen. Rocket Scientist (yes he was there with me... he uh... actually got ME into the books) and I just sat there and almost laughed out loud many times but not at the movie (though we certainly did when it warranted that) but at the HUGE group of giggly teenage girls in the back. I also remember thinking that they did reasonably well with the movie.

After watching it again at home I was able to see things in it that kind of bug me. Not that I am resigning my post as a Twi-hard/Twilighter, there were just things that I think they could have done if it wasn't as much of a "rush order" movie. Maybe if Harry Potter wasn't moved to this summer and Twilight came out in December like it originally planned it might not have turned out quite the way it is. Who knows?

Here are my thoughts (not sure of spoilers... read the rest of this at your own discretion):
  • Edward doesn't seem to be enjoying his time with Bella AT ALL. He is scowling or looks frustrated or mad or in pain almost all the time. Ok... there are two scenes that I like better than the others because he is actually smiling... One: when they are walking to class after they become "public" and Edward picked Bella up for school for the very first time. Two: At the prom. I think the meadow scene could have been MUCH better, and uh... they could both have looked like they were enjoying themselves just a BIT more. And I do understand the fact that her blood calls to him and causes him physical pain to be around her, but still... in the book he at least smiles a majority of the time... or at least that is how I remember it...
  • They totally don't have any conversation in the movie at all. Sure the parts where we are learning more about vampires in general or the Cullen family in particular, but other than that, you don't have any other sort of bonding type conversations. It seems more like lust rather than love because of this. You don't see (or rather hear... there are a few scenes where you see them talking but you can't hear what they are saying) really anything for them to like about each other but their bodies. Thus it constitutes lust rather than love to me.
  • Seems WAY too rushed. Like I said above "rush order" movie. There are scenes that are just not done really all that well. One: The meadow scene and the whole scene before that when she sees him sparkle and he's showing off his vampireistic powers. Two: in the hospital at the very end when Bella freaks out. I just hate that part. It is so..... what is the word?? Immature. Yeah, I guess that works. And the way she reacts also makes me believe more in the fact that they lust for rather than loves each other.
I guess that is pretty much it. It just could have been done much better I think if it weren't done so fast or maybe new directing was needed? I'm not sure. In any case, I just think it could have been done a whole lot better. I still enjoy it. I still love the story. I just don't think it was portrayed the best on screen.

But then again... what good book is?

Friday, March 20, 2009

Stay cold stay!!!

So... I started to cook dinner a little earlier yesterday in the hopes that we would finish earlier, and Bug might actually get to bed at a decent hour. We tend to have dinner a bit later because Rocket Scientist takes a nap in the afternoon, and I want him to get as much sleep as possible.

I started dinner with a pound of hamburger. The kitchen was an absolute mess. Dishes everywhere, no room for anything else on the table, yadda, yadda, yadda. To be completely truthful though, I guess I started by washing dishes. I cleaned out one side of the sink so I could wash the pan that I would need to cook the hamburger. Once that was done and drying I thawed the meat. As that was thawing, I dried the pan and the other dishes that now filled the drying rack so I could wash more dishes.

*sigh* I digress.

So I finally got the meat cooking. Put seasonings on it and all that, and had it browning as I washed even more dishes so we could actually have something to eat on besides a dirty table. I was feeling optimistic and accomplished. I envisioned waking Rocket Scientist up to dinner and a clean and organized kitchen, the table emptied and washed off as well as all the counters. I would have appreciated having the dishes I used to make dinner washed, but I figured I couldn't get that far. See. I was trying to set boundaries.

Then it happened... My heart started to feel like it was racing (it wasn't), I started to feel out of breath like I had just ran a marathon (I didn't), and I was feeling very weak as if I performed in a dance recital while fasting (I haven't... at least not recently). I cursed my luck. I finished the dish I was working on at the time, and quickly decided in my head that it wasn't necessary to wake Rocket Scientist up quite yet. I would lay down on the couch and wait for it to pass and finish making dinner.

I wasn't feeling very optimistic about that plan. Seeing as whenever this happens, I have to lay down for at least an hour before I start to even think about getting back up.

I mumbled to Bug (who was begging me for attention and to play with him) that I was feeling sick and needed to lay down. He is usually pretty good if I tell him that. I can still kind of (weakly) play with him as long as he brings the toys to the couch. I laid there for a while. At least long enough for the meat to sound quieter. I knew that if I didn't do something soon it would start to burn. I cursed my luck again and weakly started to stand up to wake Rocket Scientist up to finish making dinner while I laid down like a lump on a log.

Probably due to the picture I had imagined waking him up to and pregnancy hormones and feeling like a lazy schmuck and, and, and........ I cried a lot on the bed there. It didn't help that I was already feeling out of breath and could hardly breath when I WASN'T crying, but whatever. Rocket Scientist (like a good, patient husband) left me to my tears and left to make dinner because I pointed out that the meat might be burning now (he wanted to stay and wipe away my tears).

My crying stalled, and finally stopped. Almost at the same time that my body decided to start working for me properly and though I probably shouldn't have, I came out of my room and started to wash dishes again while Rocket Scientist worked on dinner. After about 8-10 dishes it came back. More forcefully probably than it did the last time, and I couldn't even finish washing the current dish. I put it down halfway soapy and went to lay on the couch again and almost bursting into tears again.

As I laid there I thought of what I put on here earlier about these episodes and how I thought they were connected to heat though I never feel hot when they happen. Right behind our couch is a window. I weakly reached up and opened it. Cool (maybe even cold to a normal person who doesn't have an internal heater like me) air washed over my face and I felt instantly better. I breathed in the cool, fresh air for quite a while as it renewed my muscles and organs.

As I enjoyed the cool air on my face, my mind was thinking (and falling into depression in the process) about the coming months. Not having AC in my apartment, I was bound to not be able to have this cool (and fresh) of air throughout the coming months. I started to foresee the fact that I'll be spending a lot of days/weeks/months laying down not able to do anything but faint if I stand up.

So I know that a lot of people are wanting warm air.... I vote that winter should stay. Where is that 12" of snow we got almost a week and a half ago?? Forget the summer. I'm dreading even the spring...

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Visitor in the dark of night

BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Sounds like some sort of scary movie right? Right??

I woke up in the middle of the night (maybe more around 2 or 3...) and my toes were wiggling. I wasn't moving them. Dun, dun, duuuun!!! And what I mean by that was that none of my body was moving them. I know, sometimes you don't move limbs or appendages consciously sometimes, yet they are still moving, but what I mean was that no part of me conscious or sub-conscious was moving my toes.

So what was it?? I'll continue...

I then started to feel other sorts of movements at the bottom of my bed. My first thought was that Rocket Scientist was home and he was coming to snuggle before Bug woke up. That was when I realized that the movements at the foot of my bed weren't made by a big person. Then I heard him. Bug was climbing into my bed. In a daze I looked at him in question. He didn't look scared, or sad, or anything that would cause him to come into my room in the middle of the night for the very first time. Well.... now that memory serves, this is the first time that he climbed in bed with me, but not the first time he has come into my room. In any case, he looked happy. He was smiling... well... beaming would probably be more fitting.

He crawled up to me and gave me an awkward hug, seeing as I was on my side, and he said, "I love you." Then (this part is actually probably dreamistic seeing as I have no proof, it was impossible, and uh.... I was half asleep at the time) he gave me an internal hard drive (or maybe a floppy drive... in any case it was small so it wasn't a CD or DVD drive). I then proceeded to try to find out why he was here, and he just smiled and gave me a hug. Since I couldn't find out why he was here, I tried to have him lay down so he and I could go to sleep, but he wouldn't lay down with me. Preparing myself for a fight I said, "Get back in bed, Bug." He did so. He just left without a word and closed my door on the way out just like it was and went in his room and I heard his door shut.

Adding the hard drive part in there makes you wonder if I was just dreaming the whole thing right? Well now that could be possible IF his door was latched closed (it wasn't) when I woke up. Seeing as it is a bit harder to latch it rather than just close it.... hmm.... Sure the hard drive part (I distantly remembering thinking, "Oh no! He ruined it by touching the circuits!!") I'm quite sure was a dream seeing as uh... all the internal hard drives that we have are all installed in computers at the moment. As for Bug coming in to give me a hug and tell me that he loves me in the middle of the night? I'm just as positive that that part wasn't a dream. But who knows? I guess I never will. At least in this life.

Pretty good as far as dreams go though huh?

Oi... what a crazy week and a half...

I know, I know, it has been forever. Let me explain before you get your feathers in a ruffle.

I may have written about this before all ready on my blog, and if so, humor me. On the seventh of this month, we were about to go visit family. We pulled out of our parking spot, and heard a loud crunch, our car automatically stopped, and uh, it felt like we just ran over something metallic, big, and uh... yeah. Our back end was up and didn't feel like the wheels were on the ground anymore. I was about to freak out because we had my computer in the trunk and I was worried that Rocket Scientist pulled out with the trunk open and we just ran over my computer. I know, I know your eyes are popping out at this point. No we didn't run over my computer. Our muffler fell off. Heh... We needed a new muffler we already knew that. There was a gaping hole in it, and we were going to fix it the next week seeing as it was spring break. I guess the muffler wanted to be fixed sooner than that though.

We really needed to go down that day because of the fact that we haven't visited family for a while, Rocket Scientist's dad had a tax program for us to use to get those in, and just over all needed the time away from our own messy house. So what did we do? We tore the rest of the mutilated muffler off, stuck it in the trunk and drove off. Thankfully no policeman looked too closely at our car because apparently (heh), they CAN pull you over for that... The car wasn't much louder if at all than we were used to. Seeing as there was a hole in the bottom of the muffler that was uh.... about the size of a DVD case, but a little bigger, and certainly jagged. And actually, after it fell off we found a hole in the top of it too, but it looked more like a cut. Long, skinny, and jagged.

We got to Rocket Scientist's parent's house safe and sound (after a quick prayer on the island that we would get there safe) and his parent's suddenly decided that we would NOT drive our car back to our home. They were going out of town for a few days and insisted that we drive one of their cars back while ours got fixed in their town through the week. We were planning on seeing our car again on Friday the 13th. One of the things that needed to be fixed needed to take longer than that apparently, and I was quite bumbed out. Even though I hardly see the car anyway. Oh, that Sunday (the 8th) Rocket Scientist had to go back home for something during church and drove back to the church building (with obviously his parent's car). He surprised me in saying that we could drive back home and I was excited because I wasn't feeling the best to walk at that point in time. He leads me toward the car and I see his parent's car there.

"Oh look! That looks like your parent's car! I wonder what they are doing.........." yeah. That was the dumb sentence that escaped my mouth before I realized that WE would be driving that home. Silly me.

Anyway, so yeah. We didn't get our car back that weekend (13-15) like I was looking forward to. But Rocket Scientist's dad reassured me that they would be done with it by Monday the 16th. Backing up a day or two now, on the 14th, my computer would NOT turn on. Well... to be fair, it would turn on. You could hear the fans, see the blinking lights, but it wouldn't beep. It wouldn't show me anything on the screen. I probably could open a CD drive if I would have tried. In any case, it would turn on, but that is about it. Rocket Scientist suddenly blamed the motherboard seeing as ever since we got that current motherboard I have been having little problems here and there for seemingly no reason, and we could never really find a solution to the problem. Just a way to bypass it.

I called my dad (seeing as he knows a lot more about computers than I do) to tell him what was going on with my computer, and see what he would say about it, and also to tell him what we thought it was. He suggested we check the power supply. He told me a few stories where they thought it was something else but it was the power supply. We figured that if it was free, may as well. It wasn't. Or rather checking the power supply was free, but the problem wasn't the power supply. The guy at the computer store that we were at rounded us at about $400 or more for him to fix it with a new motherboard, ram, and processor. Rocket Scientist said he'd think about it (really saying, "I'll order the parts online and not pay any money for labor and do it myself") and we left the store. We found out what we needed. It wasn't the power supply.

This raises a new problem though... my computer was obviously not working. Rocket Scientist's computer couldn't connect to the Internet (for some odd reason). So what do we do? We went to a friends house that day (thanks Cat!!) and ordered it on her computer. Since it was a Saturday, we had to wait until Monday to start counting the work days. It arrived yesterday as expected. We took everything (literally everything) out of my computer case in preparation for the new motherboard. We put it back together together, installed Windows on it, and we are still in the process of getting all the files (really there isn't much in the way of files seeing as my most recent C drive was only about 20 gigs.....), programs, drivers, updates, yadda, yadda, yadda on my now C drive (about 700 gigs.... I think...).


What a week and a half. And what a week I have ahead of me...

Thursday, March 12, 2009


I'm not perfect. Far from.

My religion isn't the most well accepted religion. In fact, once it was restored to the earth for the last time it has been persecuted, abused, and ridiculed. I personally have never been ridiculed because of my belief. Or rather, knowledge. But I know that people have these days. In the early days we (as a people) were physically abused and persecuted. I have sometimes wondered how I would react to that kind of inhumane abuse because of what I believed or rather, knew. I still don't know to this day how I would react, because overall, that doesn't happen these days as it did back then.

No, my church is being ridiculed in a totally different way these days. Insult after insult goes on. Moral standards are being questioned and twisted in a way that represents us as a church that we are practicing things that are just morally wrong. The family is one of the things that we hold most dear. That is being down-sided. Everything about my religion is being twisted one way or another or presented to the world as something that is just overall... wrong.

I was thinking about all this last night and wondered what kind of persecution was worse. Obviously I know seeing as this is what is happening now. People may leave my church and blab (to their own damnation) about sacred things or present us in an immoral light. This isn't new. This has been happening since Nephi's time, and it always caused a war.

I'm not saying that a war is inevitable, but I personally believe that "turning the other cheek" is something that is most important in this day and age of moral persecution. Getting all riled up and offended is what they want. They want us to behave in a way that will prove that they were right and that we are a savage or immoral or whatever else kind of people.

We teach compassion and to live as Christ lived. What better example of turning the other cheek than Him? Everyday of His life he has done that.

Shouldn't we?

Monday, March 9, 2009

Thoughts on headaches

Ok ok, I know I have already written three posts today, but I thought I'd share these before I lost them to my pregnant forgetful mind.

This morning I woke up with a splitting headache. I do have pills for headaches such as these, but I don't like to take pills while on an empty stomach so I stayed in bed wishing for sleep until it was time to eat. I don't think I got any.

When I have a headache (as I'm sure this is true for most people) I am really REALLY grouchy. My patience is shot with the pain throbbing in my head. I usually take it for granted and don't try to change anything. This morning was no different. Then I thought... I really should try to be more patient even if I have a headache. I started to wonder if anyone is like that.

Wait... Christ I'm sure was like that. He was patient with everyone and in every situation. Did He have headaches? I'm positive about it. He was a human to and had all the aches and pains that we deal with. I think we as a people only ever think about all the big pains of the world that He had to deal with. Abuse, laughter in his face, spitting, betrayals from trusted ones. But then again, I tend to be able to not complain as much with the bigger things. I have a harder time not complaining when my back aches. Or if I have a headache. Or if my feet hurt. All those little aches and pains that we all have.

Makes you think doesn't it?

I figured it out!

This pregnancy has been very different than the other two I have had. I'm beginning to think it is because all three of them have been approximately 18 months apart each. I first thought sure it was because this one was a girl, but we all know how wrong that guess was.

One major difference is my fainting feelings. I'm not sure exactly how to say what they are. But they are pretty regular. Even very daily. Almost at the same time every day I feel faint, and need to lay down so I don't faint. I never knew why so I didn't know how to fix it except what my doctor told me. To sit, or even better, lay down. So that is what I did. Almost exactly at the same time everyday around nine or nine thirty in the morning I had to lay down for an hour or longer to wait it out. My heart starts pounding either too fast or too hard, I feel light headed and over all... just not with it.

Other fainting feelings were more obvious as to why they were happening. Like on the bus. The buses are SO FREAKING HOT!!!!! So I would feel faint. Usually it was ok if I was sitting down, and I always avoided getting on a bus that was too full where I would have to stand. I would just wait in the cold for the next one. Besides. It wasn't as cold to me as to others because of my internal heater (which is also a major change from my other two pregnancies seeing as I never noticed a huge change of my temperature before...).

Sometimes the bus driver would try to convince me that I could fit. I didn't feel like explaining to him that if I came on I would most likely faint and figured he didn't want to deal with that, so I just smiled and said I'd wait. Besides, I don't ever remember feeling particularly cold this winter. Just a nice comfortable temperature or too hot.

In any case, those fainting feelings were much easier to pin down as to why I was having them, but the daily ritual of having to lay down at the same time every day was kind of annoying and I had no idea how to prevent it or make it go away besides having the TV on for Bug and laying down until it went away.

I figured it out!!! It is actually the same thing. "Why did it take you so long to realize that you were too hot?" you may ask? Well, for the main reason that I didn't feel too hot. I just started to feel faint. So now what to do? I have good feelings from this and bad ones.

Good: I finally know how to get rid of the faintness besides just laying around waiting for it. I predict that I'll have a lot of luke-warm showers with the fan on high in the upcoming weeks/months.

Bad: This isn't going to get any better until I have baby. The weather (besides today) has been pretty constantly getting warmer and warmer. I will only get hotter and seeing as our apartment doesn't have AC, this just might be a problem. Who knows? Either I'll be sticking my head in the freezer more often the next few weeks/months or maybe I'll have to have multiple luke-warm/cold showers/baths in one day. Which I don't really feel happy about.

But hey, at least I know the cause so I can maybe try to prevent it or at the very least get rid of it without wasting time laying on the couch.

Also, this is another reason why milk is even more my miricle drink. Eases nausea, cools my body down... is there anything milk CAN'T do for me?

I'm so clever!

I looked out the window and what did I see??

Six whole inches hiding all of the grass.

Spring has brought me such a nice(?)...... surprise.

Six whole inches hiding all of the grass.

I can take an armful and make a treat,

An ice cream cone that would taste so sweet.

It wasn't really so,

But it seemed to be,

Six whole inches hiding all of the grass.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

You name it

It happened.

Ok ok. So it wasn't that bad.

Last week, we had planned to visit family this weekend. We needed to get taxes done and it had been so long since we had gone to visit. My ward DID change the linger longer, so we wanted to be back home for church Sunday so we could go to it.

To start off: Rocket Scientist comes home from work on Thursday (I think), I drag myself out of bed, and almost the first words out of his mouth were, "Hon, I don't think we can go down this weekend." Not the best way to start a morning. I didn't even realize how much I was just trying to live through the week for a tinsy tiny little break with family on the weekend until he said that.

Second problem: We pulled out of our parking spot right before leaving and we sound and feel like we jut ran over something. Rocket Scientist goes to check and comes back to the cab of the car to say that our muffler just fell off. I start pondering if maybe something is telling us not to leave or if it is someone else saying not to leave when we really should. It would have been more obvious if we were going to the temple or something.

We left anyway.

Rocket Scientist worked on getting the muffler all the way off (it was hanging by a thread. Or rather two rubber things), shoved it in the trunk in case anything was salvagable and we headed off with a prayer in our hearts. One thing I should tell you about our muffler, is that uh... we have been driving with a huge hole in it for probably longer than six months. We already knew we needed to fix it...

We got to our parent's house in safety, but they insisted that we drive their car back and leave ours to be looked at and fixed up. We did so. We are safe at home now. My computer isn't fixed like I was hoping it would be by this time but at least we finally have the things we need to fix it.

That is our weekend story.

By the way. I fell asleep while writing this as well as when I was proof-reading it for typos. So don't feel bad if you fall asleep to. I just wanted to complain a little. And sleep. Hmmm.... I guess I'll go lay down now.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009


My forehead is currently forming permanent crease lines, my eye brows pulled together.

Bug has been particularly tantrumy tonight. Not only that, but he is demanding. "Mom, I need this. Mom, get me that. Mom, help me with this (something he most certainly doesn't need help with). Mom... Mom... Mom... MOM!!!" It is driving me insane. I try and do what I was working on, reading, cross-stitch, or any other non-mom related activity and then get interrupted with, "MOM!!!"

"I am quite put out!"

Have I mentioned that I hate being interrupted? I first thought it was just being interrupted with talking. I HATE that. But then I'll get interrupted with something else and I get a slight twinge of upsetness. I'll be reading someone's blog and someone will claim my attention or Rocket Scientist will just start talking as if we were in the middle of a conversation. Uh... I'm staring at my computer screen, do you think you MIGHT want to call my name or otherwise get my attention BEFORE you just start talking?

It almost makes me feel as if what I want to do is lessened in importance to what others demand. Even just the word demand bugs me. I try and not be demanding. I try and ask. Get someone's attention before I interrupt them with something I deem of importance. Like laundry that I can't put in the dryer because of my stupid back that won't let me lift something heavier than Bug. Sometimes not even him if I am having a bad back day.

Am I being selfish? Have I become the demanding one? Where is the fine line between respect for someone's wants and what I want or maybe even need?

Any thoughts? I could sure use the uplifting advice from someone much wiser than I.

"This is all very vexing!"

Monday, March 2, 2009

Don't forget your history!

For some reason I have really been thinking about this lately. I was listening to a little bit myself a little while ago. My family could quote this whole thing to you word for word perfect.

For those of you who need a little refresher... here you go. Enjoy! ^_^ (don't forget to pause my music player on the side...)