So after getting way excited to be able to catch up with old friends in high school and the friends I made at Jacob Lake on Facebook, it seems like I am still the same ol' brush off I was then.
I wasn't extremely popular in high school, and I must admit, I had a dark side at Jacob Lake and still do and will until I heal from past pains, but does that give people the right just ignore someone? If they didn't want to communicate with me in the first place they could of just refused my friend request. I might have been fine with that, though I'm not really sure. All I want is to have friends. Someone to talk to when times get rough. Someone to laugh with about old times and to remember past enjoyments.
It seems that I'm the only one to feel that way. It makes me really wonder how people see me. Am I really so lame that people don't want to try to be friends? I guess I am, and giving up seems to be the thing. I'll just get hurt again right?
But something inside me says to keep it up. Whatever "it" is. How do you even keep up a one-sided friendship anyway? Talk to yourself?
I know that I'm rambling, and being very negative, but that is how I feel. Should one hide their feelings because they are negative? I think not. Feelings are feelings and we have them for a reason. I guess my problem is that I am and will continue to have a hard time right now. I am in a group and counseling to remember my painful past and will have hard days coming up. I'm trying to use Facebook as an outlet, but it is turning into a negative outlet because of how depressed I am when people don't respond to my attempts of friendliness.
If you made it this far, thank you. I needed to vent for a bit.
2 comments:
Hard things to share. I think everyone feels this way, to one degree or another, on some days. I personally think that some friendships just dissolve, sometimes it is just circumstances that make it so. But it takes two wings for the bird to fly, for sure. There is nothing wrong with cleaning out your relationships, similar to the old box of ticket stubs. If it isn't meaningful for you anymore, why not let it go?
My answer to the post would be "NO!" Of course you shouldn't give up. Friendships takes practice, and sometimes mistakes. Trust me, you aren't the only one who is working on it! I actually think you are braver than me. :o) Love you
Of course, I made it through the entire post! I'm glad to know how you're feeling, and no, you're not lame.
I think the busy-ness of life gets in the way of friendships a lot. I am absolutely, 100 %, all-the-way guilty of that and know it and can't really do a whole lot to change it because my life won't be slowing down anytime soon. I didn't even get a birthday present for Dad! What kind of a friend is that!? You're lucky to even be getting a long comment like this!
So, some of your friends are just busy in a different part of life, I'm sure. But, not everyone is as crazily busy as I, or them, so I'm with Jan - keep trying!!!!!
And remember, sisters are friends too! :)
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