So, I thought I'd update you on my personal spring cleaning. My house is as messy as ever, but as far as my personal spring cleaning is concerned...I feel, well, to say it the best, I feel like me. I don't feel like I am hiding anything, I don't feel like I need to act a certain way, I feel like me.
I think I might have shocked someone from my old ward that I grew up in, because of that. She probably noticed something different, but I just did what I would do. I am different then the me that she knew while I was growing up under her direction with primary, young womens, and even relief society. Yes, she was a leader/mentor my whole growing up years.
I thought that when I was "cleaning my closet" I would know for sure when I was done. I thought that there would be this sudden release. But it wasn't that way. It was gradual until I realized that I felt free. I am doing things I thought I would never do. Meditation, reading a book about aroma therapy, wearing clothes that I thought I would never wear, but feeling comfortable in them. I feel peaceful.
I know that there are things that I need work on spiritually and others, like not spending as much time on the computer (wait, what am I doing now?...), but as far as I, myself am concerned, I feel like I can be me, and if people don't like it, that doesn't matter as much as it would have before. Thank you all for being there for me.
I am clean, and am willing and ready to work on things that I need to. Do the best things rather then the better or good things. Since I am at peace and I have taken care of myself, I can handle the other perfecting I need. I needed to know who I am, and love myself before I could do that, and guess what? I do. I LOVE ME!!! I know I still have work to do, and bettering myself to happen, but I can still love myself despite my imperfections. That is how the Lord sees me, and as I see myself more and more the way my Father does, I can work on the other things. Anyway, I guess I'm done rambling, but I thought I'd share that with you all.
4 comments:
what a delightful post to read. I'm glad you feel different and good! It makes me feel happy to read about it, so thanks for sharing.
btw, Ben is loving the personal penguin song and we did a little jig.
Hey, Shay,
Great to hear of your success! I know I had to go through a similar process myself, and what a difference it makes! I'm happy for you!
Yeah!
It is so fun checking your blog. It makes me feel that we aren't that far away.
Tag!!! If you have time for this it was fun. Check out my blog for instructions.
http://fivemonkeysjumpingonthebed.blogspot.com/
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