Anniversary

Yesterday and a couple of days before that I had not so good days. Even two days ago wasn't a good day either. I was really frustrated about it cause I didn't know why I was having down days. I just was. Yesterday was the day of my counseling appointment. She pointed out that for whatever reasons, anniversaries bring out sadness or gladness depending on the anniversaries. I didn't even realize until then that yesterday was the anniversary of Little Angel's funeral. Plus it was "that time of the month" again, and that didn't help things. My sub-conscious was aware of the date, and now that I remember, tried to remind me of it, but I wouldn't let myself think about it for too long.

I guess that I didn't want to be aware of it, but I can't really control my sub-conscious not be aware if it wants to. After I knew the cause of my depression, I was a little more elated. Only because I was so upset for not knowing why I was so down in the first place. I had even turned my emotions off so I couldn't feel anything (for the most part). I didn't even realized how bad I truly looked until Rocket Scientist said that I looked really depressed. I was shocked that he was saying that I was looking really bad, because I didn't feel as bad as he was suggesting from my looks. Thus, my emotions were turned off, or at least turned down.

I hope that any other anniversaries won't be so hard to get over. Now that I know what was cause of that I might be able to get through it better. Anyway, I'm on Rocket Scientist's computer now. My computer died in the middle of writing this. Thank goodness for Google huh? I only lost a sentence! Crazy huh? Rocket Scientist is going to take his apart now and test the parts of my computer. Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks for all of the support that I have gotten from you all all this time. You are all such wonderful people!