First off... I love having other kids over, truly I do. We haven't ever really had kids 'next door' that Bug played with, but now that we do, I am loving it, opening the door to see the girls there.
But their presence and my overwhelming desire or maybe pull to be near Bug whenever he is outside has made me realize ... I completely fear him going to school this fall. I mean... I know most mothers with their first kids would be like this... but I just don't know what to do with myself. He seems so delicate and fragile at home, I don't even know how he acts not around me, but at home he gets upset and (at least acts) traumatized from the smallest things. The problem last Sunday about the torn coloring book...? Yeah exhibit number one. Or more likely number 100.
To be honest I am not really sure what my fears are... having been abused when I was younger, I worry how he will be treated when I am not around. Nursery wasn't that bad. I mean... they are all practically babies. Primary... sure. Maybe... they start to pick favorites then... though he isn't quite at that age yet, but... yeah.
School??
*shudders...*
My elementary school experience was... to say the least well... I don't remember much. To be perfectly honest. I was around the age when I got abused and really... I think because of that I pushed most of my memories of my childhood away. The memories I do have aren't all that pleasant which leads me to believe that the ones I purposefully forgot would be worse.
I don't know... I am probably stressing over things that I shouldn't be. But the more and more days pass and the closer and closer the next semester comes, I will likely be getting more and more stressed. Exited for my own experience of learning Japanese... but terrified of Bug's experience.
Oh, and I will end this on a question prologued by a story... the younger of the two girls who hung out a good portion of the afternoon here tended to hoard toys and when Goof Ball would come up and grab one that was just sitting there by her leg, she got possessive and took it away. He has an older brother and didn't worry too much about it and just walked off. Then when they were playing downstairs and I was talking to someone on the phone, apparently she had pushed Goof Ball and he was crying and crawling up the stairs. I don't know if he actually got hurt, and I don't even know if the older girl's story was true... but really. I am not babysitting (per se) and I am not these kids parent... but if they come here and take away my boy's toys and push... what do I do? I talked with her and told her that if she is going to keep being mean she can just go back to her house. I hope I was not out of line, but really. They are in my house and if they are going to be rude to those living in it... they can leave. Right?
*sigh.... so many stressors....
Now onto writing... *evil laughter as I try to get in the mind of my evil (and pissing me off about it) character*
5 comments:
so much for it being short... oh well... at least I type fast.
I dint read your whole blog , but i just read the introduction . I loved it and I love oreos too . I guess i am crazy about them .
All I can say is thank goodness they start school with only half a day! I know alot of teachers appreciate parent help in the classroom so you could always look into that it will kinda let you see how he acts in that setting.
As for the little neighbor girl, I hate to admit it but Elizabeth is alot like that(maybe it's a girl thing?) and when she was being tended alot while I was in and out of the hospital I sent her with a note that she isn't allowed to act that way even if I'm not there, so I say you're not out of line at all and I would hope her mom would thank you for not letting her think it's ok to be mean just cause she's somewhere else!
Good luck with your story!
My Mom always had a saying, "If you at our house you follow our rules". Let her know your rules, and the consequences, and if she doesn't like them she can go home.
I am also a home body and rarely send my kids anywhere. I think it gets easier with practice, so maybe if there is a neighbor you trust send Bug over for an hour a day a couple times a week. Then ask your neighbor how he did. You'll get practice, and he'll learn, and you'll get an honest response. Good Luck.
I agree. You are not out of line. I don't know if her parents teach that that behavior is unacceptable, but you can. You, and your kids, don't have to put up with that.
And just so you know, whenever we have the kids, Bug does fine. He is a sensitive little chap, so I can understand your worry. Just let him know you'll be there to always listen and watch his back.
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