My forehead is currently forming permanent crease lines, my eye brows pulled together.
Bug has been particularly tantrumy tonight. Not only that, but he is demanding. "Mom, I need this. Mom, get me that. Mom, help me with this (something he most certainly doesn't need help with). Mom... Mom... Mom... MOM!!!" It is driving me insane. I try and do what I was working on, reading, cross-stitch, or any other non-mom related activity and then get interrupted with, "MOM!!!"
"I am quite put out!"
Have I mentioned that I hate being interrupted? I first thought it was just being interrupted with talking. I HATE that. But then I'll get interrupted with something else and I get a slight twinge of upsetness. I'll be reading someone's blog and someone will claim my attention or Rocket Scientist will just start talking as if we were in the middle of a conversation. Uh... I'm staring at my computer screen, do you think you MIGHT want to call my name or otherwise get my attention BEFORE you just start talking?
It almost makes me feel as if what I want to do is lessened in importance to what others demand. Even just the word demand bugs me. I try and not be demanding. I try and ask. Get someone's attention before I interrupt them with something I deem of importance. Like laundry that I can't put in the dryer because of my stupid back that won't let me lift something heavier than Bug. Sometimes not even him if I am having a bad back day.
Am I being selfish? Have I become the demanding one? Where is the fine line between respect for someone's wants and what I want or maybe even need?
Any thoughts? I could sure use the uplifting advice from someone much wiser than I.
"This is all very vexing!"
5 comments:
Jeez, someone's pregnant...=)
You've probably tried this but i found with kids of that age that giving them 20 minutes undivided attention is all it takes. Give him 20 minutes and then he'llg ive you at least an hour to do what you want.
One thing that helped me when my first two were very young, and, yes, very "demanding" was to realize that they were the priority. It use to put me at my wits end when I was, say, trying to type up a story for the newspaper and kept getting interrupted until I put it in perspective and said, "Hey, these guys are the really important thing not ____ (insert whatever the other task at hand may be." I know it's hard when the kids are little because it seems like you don't get any "me" time. But, they grow up fast. And, then you'll have lots of "me" time and miss those little ones. Some days they just need more attention, so I try to be tuned into that. Good luck!
I don't have any advice for the demanding kid, though I think what the others have said is good. From what I understand they'll harass you more and more because they want your attention, they need to feel loved, which is probably why the 20-minutes of undivided attention thing works.
My suggestion is more on the lines of Rocket Scientist. If something he does bugs you, like interupting you when you're working on the computer, you need to let him know.
The key to this is how you let him know. Sit down with him, use I messages ("hon, I know you probably don't realize you do this, but it really bothers me when you randomly start talking to me when I'[m working on my computer. You don't even attempt to get my attention first. *important part here* I feel (insert feeling) like my interests are not important to you when you do that.") The key thing is to say "I feel (feeling) when you do (action)" or "i feel (feeling) when (something happens.)" Never ever say "you make me feel (feeling)."
You can't expect Bug to understand that you need you time. But you can expect if from Rocket Scientist. You just need to remember that he's not a mind reader and needs you to (gently) let him know.
oh, my dear. I think being interrupted is one of those parts of motherhood. Becoming frustrated about it sneaks up on all of us. Sometimes, to keep me from acting or speaking in a way I'll regret, I sing a primary song. I just can't stay mad while singing "I'm trying to be like Jesus" :o)
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