PJ's

Yesterday was a PJ day. I didn't go to band. I sat, or more exact, laid around all day long moaning about the fact that I couldn't do anything else.

Sunday I left church early. I couldn't even sit through Sacrament Meeting, Rocket Scientist had to take me home.

To sum this all up... the faintness feelings/episodes are becoming more fierce. And one thing that I have found from yesterday and Sunday is that I didn't like to be cold during them. Sure, we tried that to help me out of it, but once I got a little bit cooler, I just wanted to be warm after that, but I wasn't feeling any less faint or weak. My next appointment is Thursday and it is my glucose test. I'm going to ask them to check my iron as well. But until then I guess I'll just have to deal.

But. This isn't a post I was planning on complaining through the whole post. So I'll change the vibe right here and now.

A lot of friends and family have lately posted on their blogs about enjoying now. No matter what is going on in their life at the time. Right now it seems the only thing I can think about is my weak limbs, my heart that feels like it is beating too fast or maybe even skipping beats (it did this before I was pregnant or even married, but doctors can't ever catch it so I haven't been diagnosed for anything), my aching back that never goes away, and the list goes on.

The only thing I find that I can think about right now is how I feel like I can't do anything to get our house in order or keep up with chores because if I try to pick up a load of laundry, my back kills over, or I'll suddenly feel faint, or ..... you get the picture. I feel so useless at times just sitting around waiting for someone else to clean up my home.

Oh dear, I'm falling into the complainingness aren't I? Well, I was thinking today of what I'm blessed with. Bug is the cutest little boy ever. Even when I want to scold him or something, he smiles at me or does some other "melting the heart" type action and I can't do anything but smile. Sometimes when I lay down on the couch (from faintness) telling Bug that I feel sick, he'll come over, say "Your back hurts?" and give my back a kiss. For a two year old... he's been very understanding throughout all this body weakness of mine. Even last night he asked for a bath before bed (which is part of his bedtime routine) and I said that I was sorry but I couldn't give him one because my back hurt. I expected him to start crying again (he wasn't liking the idea of going to bed last night), but he just said "Oh... Ok."

As for Rocket Scientist, he has been very patient with the fact that we hardly have clean dishes, how he has to occasionally wear dirty clothes because there aren't any clean ones around, or how we have piles of stuff piled on every chair, couch, or anything else you can sit on. He has been waking up a little early from his naps to make dinner (or finish the dinner I started but couldn't finish). He has been nothing but accommodating, and I really don't deserve him.

In the mean time I'll just have to be patient with myself. Maybe the only thing I can get organized right now is my computer (transferring files from one hard drive to my current C drive). I'll just have to be happy with that for now.