Can I have some?

welcome to my blog.

a place to post. a place to eat oreos. a place to vent. a place to heal.

i started this blog so i could use a different outlet besides munching on fattening oreos. as if that has done any good... *mind wanders to oreo package in the house...*

then i realized that oreos can be semi symbolic. if you are are that crazy about oreos that is. which... i am.

eating oreos is therapeutic for me. when i am struggling or when i need a pick me up. they have chocolate. and sugar. both of which help lift my mood. not to mention that i eat them soaked with milk, which is my miracle drink.

i post my posts to not only get stuff out. there may be people who read my blog who have been in the same kind of situations as i have. i hope reading them and knowing that others have gone through things like i have, will be to you what eating oreos does to me.


and yes. i didn't capitalize anything in here. i just felt like it. deal with it.


munch up.

Friday, June 3, 2011

So THAT's what you mean by "bad news" ...

If there is one thing that I hate about Pro Boxer's job is the unpredictability each weekend. Will he have to work Saturday...? Will he not...?

It is like a constant stressor of mine that escalates until the final moment when it is certain. Which is usually Friday morning. On weekends when he doesn't, it is like heaven. We get to spend the whole weekend together either doing family activities or working together with the lawn, or whatever it may be... but those are glorious weekends and I go into the next week ready for the challenge. Weekends that he does work, and the week after that, the state of my emotional self really depend mostly on how much I needed him the weekend he had to work. If I really did need him then usually.... I don't get over it until the next weekend comes and he doesn't have to work and I can revitalize myself. Which means... yes... almost the whole week turns out to be crappy unless I can find some way to cheer up my mood without that needed couple time.

Often I am okay with the idea of him having to work Saturday. Though it seems that most times I am not. Especially during the times when I really REALLY need to spend time with him. Sometimes it feels like he is working all the time and I get sad when I have to be away from him even when he needs to shower. Maybe I've got some sort of lost hubby complex or something... I don't know. Usually the times when I am okay with it are the times when I was aware of the possibility days in advance. Pro Boxer can sometimes tell when they are behind enough to have to work Saturday. Only problem is if he doesn't tell me. It seems the times when I get depressed over him working Saturday are the times when I didn't have some previous idea that he might have to. We still never know until Friday morning usually, but if Pro Boxer doesn't give me some sort of idea that it might happen until the dreadful Friday.... then I get depressed. And go figure... those are also the weekends when I feel like I need him the most.

Sometimes I just miss him a lot and feel like his employers have something against our marriage. "You can't be married to her, so we are gonna make you both feel like you are single to make up for it! So there!" We aren't weak enough to break up over this or anything, but sometimes I just need a little more honey time, and when I do, it seems like those are the times when overtime happens.

*sigh..............

1 comment:

Me said...

I have felt how you feel, only it was band, not work, that wanted Jared to be single. You need a date night! Every. Single. Week. to counteract these effects.

Whatever day works for you, Jared and I will watch the kids! Use it to go to the temple, a movie, a walk, a nap, dinner, anything! Seriously, use me while I'm here, and MAKE time for each other.